Reeshard Gasgay is cleared of all charges and is back on tour, effective immediately.

The tribunal panel, which was composed of three lawyers, found that Gasquet consumed no more than “a grain of salt” of cocaine. A substantial ban, according to the panel, would have been “unusual to the point of being probably unique.”

The positive test was allegedly the result of Gasquet kissing a woman, only referred to as “Pamela,” who had been in contact with cocaine earlier in the evening.

The ITF press release says that

he was able to demonstrate on the balance of probabilities how the cocaine entered his system (through inadvertent contamination in a nightclub the night before his scheduled match), and that, while he was at fault in exposing himself to the risk of such contamination, that fault was not significant. It further ruled that, in the exceptional and “probably unique” circumstances of the case, it would be unjust and disproportionate to impose a 12-month sanction on Mr Gasquet. Instead it ruled that Mr Gasquet be suspended from participation for a period of two months and 15 days, commencing on 1 May 2009, and thus ending at 08:00 GMT on 15 July 2009. It also ruled that his results, ranking points and prize money from events subsequent to Miami should remain undisturbed.

More here. ITF press release here.

The actual report says about Richie:

8. The player was born on 18 June 1986 and is therefore now aged 23. He is a French national resident in Switzerland. He already has a series of illustrious achievements behind him. He has been ranked number one in France and was ranked in the top twenty-five in the world four years running, from 2004 to 2008. In 2007, he was ranked in the top 10, reaching the Wimbledon semi-final in which he was defeated by Mr Roger Federer.

Seriously? Is there anything, anyone can do in the tennis world that will not, somehow, be related to Le Fed?

9. The Tribunal found the player to be a truthful and honest witness, and a man of integrity. We accept the following evidence from the player and other witnesses attesting as to his character. He is highly motivated and hard working, and also quite reserved and shy. He does not often socialise in large groups of people, preferring the company of people he knows and small groups. He rarely consumes alcohol. We accept that he is not a user of illegal recreational drugs, nor of performance enhancing drugs. He occasionally goes out to bars and nightclubs, but never does so when competing.

Yeah, JWT still doesn’t remember the night when he and Richie hit up the bars and took their shirts off to dance grind (see picture above).

16. The player was disappointed that he would not be playing. After arriving at the hotel and making the decision not to compete, he called his mother in France and agreed that she would change his flight back to France so that he would leave at 6pm on Saturday 28 March 2009. Having decided to withdraw from the tournament, he felt there was no reason to stay at the hotel that evening. He decided to go out and see a well known French DJ, M. Bob Sinclar, whom he had briefly met earlier that day, and who, as he knew, would be performing that evening in Miami as part of the Winter Music Conference; an event which, though the player did not know it, is notoriously associated with use of illegal recreational drugs including cocaine.

He rang his mum so she could get his flight changed? Wait.. doesn’t he have a team to take care of these things?

[...]While waiting at the bar for their table, the player noticed a group of four young women dining at a nearby table. He recognised one of them, Mlle Francesca Antoniotti, a sports news presenter on French television.

18. At about 10.30pm one of the women invited the group of men to join them for a drink after dinner. The men did so, joining them at their table. The player talked mostly to one of the women called Pamela. We do not know her family name and therefore refer to her simply as Pamela. The player learned that Pamela lived in Paris and that she, Mlle Antoniotti and another of the women, known as Nouria, were on holiday together in Miami. The player and his companions discovered that these three women were also planning to see M. Sinclar perform that night, at a club called Set. The fourth woman, called Denise, was due to leave to work at a different venue.

19. The group of four men, including the player, and the three women, including Mlle Antoniotti and Pamela, set off for Set on foot at about midnight. They entered Set at about 12.40am on 28 March 2009, after awaiting the arrival of M. Sinclar. He then started his performance. The player and the others in his group were soon invited to M. Sinclar’s table by his wife. They stood around the table talking and listening to the music. On the table top, there were open jugs of mixer drinks, including apple juice, a bottle of vodka and bottles of water.

20. The player drank a vodka and apple juice prepared for him by M. Champion. Later, at about 2am, he helped himself to more apple juice, without vodka. The player talked particularly to Pamela, though he was not with her all the time, and also talked to others. The Tribunal accepts the player’s evidence that he and Pamela kissed mouth to mouth about seven times while they were at Set, each kiss lasting about five to ten seconds. We accept his evidence that he was not with Pamela constantly while at the club. At one stage the two of them went upstairs and sat on a sofa where they kissed. After that they came downstairs again, stopping to kiss on the stairs. The player then drank only water from a sealed bottle and a vodka and apple juice he had ordered from the bar.

21. At about 4.15am, the player and the others with whom he had arrived decided to leave. They left at about 4.35am, after awaiting the end of M. Sinclair’s performance, thanking him and saying goodbye. The player was tired. His impression was that Pamela did not seem tired. She expressed a wish to go to another venue called Goldrush, where the fourth woman from the restaurant, Denise, was working. The group of seven travelled in two taxis. The player went in a taxi with Pamela. Goldrush turned out to be a strip club. The player and his three male companions did not like it and wanted to leave about 10 minutes after arriving. He did not have any physical contact with Denise or anyone else at Goldrush.

[...] The player kissed Pamela on the mouth for two or three seconds before boarding a taxi back to his hotel with his coach. On arrival at his hotel he went to his room and slept.

First, how the fuck do they know how long they were snogging for? Seriously- who keeps count? The intricate detail is ridiculous.. and made me giggle for yonks.

Second, of course Richie was uncomfortable with women stripping and made the others leave too. (dear peter bodo, didn’t you get the memo?)

Third, Pamela? Really?

Fourth,  never giggle at Rafa Nadal and call him naive. Ever.

Still LOL-ing over Richie kissing a girl.